For The First Time In Forever (Reprise)
During the course of this song, Elsa is told about the consequences of her actions. She realizes that Arendale is frozen (in summer). Anna believes that Elsa can change things back to where they were before, but Elsa is sure she can't. Anna goes to Elsa, saying that Elsa can come home. She doesn't have to worry, because Anna will be right beside her. Elsa responds by saying that she's happy being alone, where she knows others will be safe from her power. Anna then tells Elsa of the problems Elsa's power has caused.
It is difficult for me to even just listen to this song, because it has the strongest connection to depression of all the songs in Frozen. I clearly remember my wife coming to me, telling me that I don't need to shut myself away from everyone. She would always be there for me to lean on. Then she told me of all the problems in my family that my isolationist attitude had caused. My reaction was about the same as Elsa's.
I can be hard to hear the lyrics when the two are singing together at the end of the song, so here's what Anna is singing.:
"For the first time in forever, you don't have to be afraid.
We can work this out together.
We'll reverse the storm you've made.
Don't panic.
We'll make the sun shine bright.
We can face this thing together.
We can change this winter weather
And everything will be alright."
While Anna is singing those words, listen to what Elsa's response is.:
"I'm such a fool. I can't be free.
No escape from the storm inside of me.
I can't control the curse.
Anna, please, you'll only make it worse.
There's so much fear.
You're not safe here.
I can't!
First of all, notice the words they choose to sing. Anna keeps using the word "we." We can work this out. We'll reverse the storm. We'll make the sun shine. We can face this thing. We can change. She knows that the key to dealing with the curse is to work together.
Elsa, on the other hand, keeps singing "I." I'm such a fool. I can't be free. I can't control. I can't. She has isolated herself so far that she can't acknowledge the fact that she no longer needs to be alone. She has someone to help, but she still feels alone.
I felt the same way. I believed I was alone, that no one could help, that I had to do this by myself. Even though my wife was right in front of me, saying "We can do this together," I was thinking "I can't do this."
When you've dug yourself deep into the pit that is isolation, it is so easy to believe you have gone too far to get out again. There seems like there is no escape. Everything you do seems to just pull you in deeper.
When you have depression, it's not just a feeling of sadness. There are also feelings of fear, exhaustion, and anger. These must be overcome in order to live a more normal life. ("Normal" is not the right word for this. I can't think of a word that truly fits here. Healthy? Productive? I still don't know.)
But, in a sense, Elsa's right. She can't do it. She needs help. And in my experience, only one thing helped.
Fixer-Upper
OK. The whole idea may seem sappy and , dare I say it, Disney-film-like, but yes love helped me get out of depression. Here's some lyrics of the song:
"We're not saying you can change him,
Cause people don't really change.
We're only saying that love's a force
That's powerful and strange.
People make bad choices if
They're mad or scared or stressed,
But throw a little love their way
And You'll bring out their best.
Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper.
That's what it's all about.
Father, Sister, Brother
We need each other
To raise us up and round us out.
Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper
But when push comes to shove
The only fixer upper fixer that can fix a fixer upper
is True Love."
When my wife told me how much she loved me and I finally realized that fact, it started a turn around in my life. I finally was able to begin to let others into my life and get myself out of isolation. That "Frozen Heart" that I had created began to thaw, to melt.
I have always loved my wife more than she'll ever know. To me, she was the one that was worth melting for. For her, I would do anything, just to have the privilege to call myself her husband. For her, I am pulling myself from my kingdom of isolation and doing whatever it takes to remain in the land of Summer with her.
Now, I'm not saying that all depression can be fixed by finding true love. Far from it. Even in my own life, I still have times of depression, times where I find myself running away back into isolation. But in my experience, the love I have for (and from) my wife has made dealing with depression possible in a way that would be impossible alone.
If anyone reading this is dealing with depression, I beg you to please find help. It can be going to the doctor and talking about it. It can be just as simple as hanging out with a friend or a loved one, someone you trust and discussing it. Heck, you don't even have to discuss it. Just being there and being alive can sometimes be enough to thaw that Frozen Heart. Please, just don't give up. There are things (and people) out there worth melting for.
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