Disney Trip (And Half Marathon) 2015

My wife and I went to Walt Disney World for vacation, and also to run in their half marathon, held during Marathon Weekend, which is usually the second weekend of January each year.  Marathon Weekend starts on Wednesday with the Sports and Health Expo, a 5K race on Thursday, a 10K on Friday, a Half-Marathon (13.1 miles/21.1km) on Saturday, and a full Marathon (26.2 miles/42.2km) on Sunday.

We decided to only run the half marathon because we're only half crazy.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 7

We left home and flew out of Grand Rapids airport.  There was a snow storm heading in and it was only 7°F (-14°C).  So glad I was getting out of that.  We had a short layover in Atlanta (got some Popeye's chicken), then off to Orlando, where it was 66°F (19°C).

After checking in at our resort hotel (Disney's All-Star Music), we caught the bus to the ESPN Wife World Of Sports Center.  That's the location of the expo and where we had to pick up our race gear.

Back to our resort to drop off our stuff.  Did I mention they upgraded us to a king-size bed?

Then off to do some shopping at Downtown Disney.  Got some gifts for family and then got lost trying to find where the buses pick us up.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 8

Our second day, we decided to go to my favorite park, EPCOT.  

Here, we did a number of rides: Spaceship Earth (seen behind us in the above picture), Mission Space (the green, less-thrilling side.  My wife can't handle the orange side.), Soarin' (how come I always get stuck at the top?)

We stopped for lunch at Sunshine Seasons, only because it was close.  We had never been there before and didn't know what to expect.  I needn't have worried.  I had spicy fish tacos, which were great.

We met Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Chip, & Dale.  Everyone was making fun of me.  I was wearing just a t-shirt (it was about 47°F/8°C).  Everyone else was wearing winter coats.

On to more rides, after a stop at Starbucks.  The Seas with Nemo, Turtle Talk with Crush.  Then into the World Showcase section of EPCOT.  

While walking into the France pavilion, we ran into Mike Scopa and Michelle Scribner-Maclane of the Mickey Miles Podcast.  They are two of my inspirations when it comes to running, so I'm geeking out.  We talk for a bit and then leave them.

We listened to the Voices of Liberty in the American pavilion.  Karamel Kuche in Germany and get a caramel apple and caramel covered rice crispy treat.  I'm in heaven.

To the Morocco pavilion for dinner at the Tangerine Cafe.  I got a kefta wrap and my wife got chicken shawarma.  Both very good.

Back to our resort by 7:30.  we're both asleep before our heads hit the pillows.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 9

Day 3. Off to Animal Kingdom.  Waiting in line for the bus, a lady with a huge southern accent says to her kid that she got a pic with the giant "S" (from the "All-Star" sign). It sounded like she said "ass".  I couldn't stop laughing the entire bus ride.  Yes, I'm a 40-something middle school kid.

We arrive at the park before it opens.  I'm third in line.

We get in and my wife stops at a kiosk to get a "Wilderness Ranger Guide".  Before they give us the book, they make us 'caw" like a bird and "roar" like a lion.

Then to some rides.  Expedition Everest.  Dinosaur (I hate this ride.)

We walk through the Maharajah Jungle Trek, where there are many animals, including giant fox bats.  Do you know why bats hang upside down?  They have no ankle bones, so they can't stand up.  (A little trivia for ya.)

Finding Nemo: the Musical.  We sit almost at the front.  It's a very good production.

As we leave the show, I got a phone call from my grandmother and grandfather.  They live down in Florida and want to meet up with us.  They ask us to make reservations at the Tusker House restaurant, which I get the last availability.  When I let her know the time, my grandmother says that they can't get there in time, so my wife and I go to lunch on our own.

The Tusker House is a character lunch, where we meet Donald, Mickey, Daisy, and Goofy.  It serves African food.  I'm running out of words to describe how impressed I am by the food on this trip.

I'm sitting by a window.  After Goofy has his picture taken with me, he starts knocking on the window to get peoples attention outside.  He also kept making fun of Mickey, who was in front of him.  We were having a great time.

We found my grandparents and decide to do a few shows.  It's Tough To Be A Bug.  Kilimanjaro Safaris.  Festival Of The Lion King.  Flights Of Wonder.  My wife and I get our picture taken with Mickey and Minnie.

We need to get up early in the morning, so we have to say goodbye to my grandparents.  We're back to the resort by 5:00 and in bed by 7:00.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 10

It's 2:00 AM.  Why am I up this early?  Oh, yes.  The race.  The real reason I'm here.

We catch a bus at 3:00 and are in our race corrals by 3:30.  The race starts at 5:30.  (Yes, we had to get there that early.)  It's very cold, about 35°F (2°C).  Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee from the Lord of the Rings movies) is racing today, as well.  That's cool.

The race starts at EPCOT, goes to the Magic Kingdom and then back to EPCOT.  During the race, I run into Lou Mongello of the WDW Radio podcast, another of my inspirations.

Running through the Magic Kingdom is a thrill.  As we get ready to run through the castle, we see Elsa, Anna and Kristof, from Frozen.  I yell out, "I love you, Elsa" as we go by.  She says she loves me too.  Everyone around laughs.  My wife just rolls her eyes.

The race is half over and I'm running out of steam.  I slow down, slower than I wanted.  But I still finish.  My finish time is 3:33:04.  I'm 20224 out of 22081 finishers.  I'll take it.

Then back to the resort for a nap.

After an hour nap, we return to EPCOT.  Back to the France pavilion, we get a Grand Marnier Orange Slush and a Grey Goose Citron Vodka and Lemonade slush.  Yummy!

After drinking, we need food.  So off to the Norway pavilion, to the bakery.  I get the school bread and my wife gets a troll horn.  How do you describe school bread?  Think of a dinner roll, topped with sugar and coconut, and a pat of creamy butter.  Sound disgusting?  It's actually really good.  And a troll horn is just a cream horn pastry, filled with the creamy butter filling, not sugary cream.

While we eat. we see a duck walking around.  We throw over a piece of school bread to him.  We've made a friend.

Got any more school bread?

More walking around the park.  We get our picture taken with Donald and Duffy.  (Duffy is Mickey's teddy bear.)  We go to Club Cool, which is a Coca-Cola store, where you can try Coke products from around the world.  The most famous (or infamous) is Beverly, an aperitif from Italy.  It's very bitter, but I like it.  (You can find videos of people trying it on Youtube.)  I try talking some kids into drinking it, but there are no takers.  Obviously, these are some smart kids.  I need a dumber audience.

Dinner at Tokyo Dining in the Japan pavilion.  Tempura and sushi.  The service is exceptional.  The food is great.  (I prefer my local sushi place, though.)

The sun has set and it's getting cold.  It's been a long day and the drunks are coming out at EPCOT.  it's time for bed.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 11

Off to Disney's Hollywood Studios.  On the bus, it's just me, my wife and a bunch of teenage Brazilians.  I wish I knew Portuguese.  (I say this on Facebook, and my cousin starts recommending phrases.  I know enough to not say any of his recommendations.)

The full marathon is happening, which goes through each of the 4 parks.  So we're pretty much stuck on one side of the park for the morning.  We do Aerosmith's Rock N Roller Coaster, Tower of Terror, Walt Disney:One Man's Dream.

For years, my wife has wanted to see the Beauty & the Beast show, so we do.  Now she says that our local high school did a better job.

Great Movie Ride.  Star Tours.  Watched the Jedi Training Academy.

Lunch at the 50's Prime Time Cafe.  The pot roast is awesome, much better than mine.

MuppetVision 3D, We catch a show of Mulch, Sweat & Shears (a roving rock band), Voyage of the Little Mermaid (Ariel has D-shells, not Seashells.  There's the middle schooler.)

Pictures with Mickey, Mr. Incredible & Frozone from the Incredibles, Hiro & Baymax from Big Hero 6.

He's so squishy.

The park begins to close, so we go back to our resort for dinner.  In our room, there are no towels, so I go to the front desk to get them.  Back to the room.  We realize we've lost the booklet we need in order to get back to the airport on Tuesday.  So back to the front desk to get a replacement.  (Turns out we'd packed it and it was in our suitcase.)

MONDAY, JANUARY 12

Up early.  Magic Kingdom day.  We have reservations at the Crystal Palace at 8:00 am.  The park opens at 9:00, so we're able to get some pictures before there are thousands of people.

See?  Try getting this few people in a picture like this.

The food at Crystal Palace is good.  It's your normal breakfast buffet stuff.  It's also a character breakfast, with Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore and Piglet.

By the time we've finished eating, the park is open.  We ride the Jungle Cruise (If you sit by the boat pilot, he'll make fun of you the entire ride.)  Pirates of the Caribbean.  Enchanted Tiki Room.  it's A Small World.  The newest ride: The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train.  It's one of the best rides around.

My favorite ride, though, is the Haunted Mansion.  I'm a little morbid.  After the ride, we stop at the Haunted Mansion store, Memento Mori, and get some spooky pictures taken.  (I'll try to find a way to post them some day.)

Lunch at the Columbia Harbor House, for some fish and chips and a lobster roll.  Not bad.

It starts to rain.  Everyone scrambles for cover, but we just keep walking in the rain.  It gets a little heavier, so we buy an umbrella.  (Surprisingly, it costs just as much as one would have cost back home.)

We get our picture taken with Mickey.  This makes at least one picture with Mickey each day.

Then we also meet Tinkerbell.  I've never met anyone who could out-talk my wife.  Until now.  Holy Crap, Tink could talk.

You'reFromMichigan?YouMustBeIceFairies!MyCousinIsAnIceFairy......

I know how much my wife loves Beauty & the Beast, so I suggest Enchanted tales with Belle, which is where the story is acted out by people chosen from the audience.  Yeah.  Guess who was chosen to be a guard.

By the time we get out, the rain has increased so much, we need to buy a second umbrella.  The park almost seems empty.  So we're able to get on rides easily.

Space mountain.  Tomorrowland Transit Authority.  Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin.  (I got a perfect score of 999,999.)  Winnie the Pooh ride.

Dinner at Be Our Guest restaurant.  Awesome food.  Awesome decorations.  We ate in the grand ballroom, which was my wife's favorite room.  I wanted the West Wing, which is darker and cooler, in my opinion.

After dinner, we walk toward the front of the park.  It's getting late and we're wet and tired.

We had a little extra money on our gift cards, so we blew it all on gifts for the family.  For me, it's actually difficult to spend money at Disney.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 13

A sad day.  Time to come home.  When we leave Orlando, it's 63°F (17°C).  When we land in Grand Rapids (after a layover in Minneapolis), it's 12°F (-11°C).  Can I go back now?

Looking Back: 2014

It's the end of 2014.  It's that time of year when we look back at the past 365 days and remember the good and the bad things that happened.

This year has been a doozy.  We've had missing airplanes and Nigerian girls. Shootings and riots. Ebola scares and elections. Abuse by NFL players and NBA owners. ISIS. Ukraine. Re establishing relations with Cuba. North Korea and The Interview. 

We've had quite a few deaths this year. Actors Robin Williams, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Richard Kiel and Richard Attenborough. Actresses Joan Rivers and Lauren Bacall. Musicians Joe Cocker and Tommy Ramone. Comedienne Jan Hooks. Artist H. R. Giger. Wrestler the Ultimate Warrior. 

Personally, it's been a rough year. I've lost a job, gained one and lost it again.  I've helped one kid move into her own apartment and another move to college.  I've stretched out the distances of my running. At the beginning of the year, the farthest I'd run was a 5k (3.1 miles). In May, I ran a 10k (6.2 miles) and in October a half marathon (13.1 miles/21.1 km). I've been planning a trip for Disney World to run another half marathon. (That trip is next week.)  I've reconnected with old friend, moved on from others and have made new friends around the world.

It's at times like this that I look back over my life and try to think of what I'd do differently.  Would I make those same decisions if I had them to do again?

I've had a few regrets in my life.  I should have stayed in college when I was younger.  I went for two years and then dropped out, because I wanted to be with some girl.  (OK, I married her and we're still together, but I should have stayed in college, and not spend my tuition money on an engagement ring.)

I should have waited to get married and have children.  (Not that I regret having my wife and kids.  I love them more than they'll ever know.  I just think I should have waited until I was more mature.  However, now that they're moving out and I'm still fairly young, I can enjoy them as adults and friends.)

I should have done whatever it took in order to keep my job.  (Not that I liked that job.  I hated it.  It actually caused a lot of depression issues.  I was nearly unbearable to live with because of those issues.)

Maybe what I'm saying is that we need to live without regrets.  Even those things that I regret having done (or not done) have become positives in my life.  I didn't finish college, but I married the love of my life.  I married early, but have a longer lifetime to spend with her, my children and possibly grandkids.  I lost a job, but I was miserable there and now have an opportunity to grow and be happier.

When I'm gone, what will my family remember of me?  Will they remember that I didn't have a degree?  Will they remember that I was unemployed for most of a year?  Will they recall that I was only 20 years old when I got married and my wife was only 17?

Or will they remember me as a loving husband?  A caring father?  A loyal friend?  Someone they could depend on when they needed me?

Try to think on how you want to be remembered and once you've found that out, do your best to live it.

I might not be world famous and be mourned by millions, but it's more important to me that those whom I love remember me well.

Happy New Year to you all.  Live to make 2015 a year to remember.

The Eyes of the Enemy

The disgustingly holy light had finally faded.  Unblessed darkness returned and shadows fell across the field.  The pitiful ones to whom the message had been given had all gone.  Only I had remained.  I had stayed in the corner of the field, hidden in those shadows.  I had to think this out.

I thought I knew how my Enemy worked.  This war had gone on long enough and the plans were always the same.  But this message was something different.  Uncertain, I began to walk toward the place, the little town referred to in the message.  It wasn't far.

How was this time going to be different?  What was His plan this time?

Up ahead, I saw the place.  It was just a cave, used to keep the animals out of the weather.  A dirty, wet cave.  Could I have heard the message wrong?  No, I could see the guard standing next to the cave's mouth.  This was definitely the place.  Inside that cave was the One the Enemy had promised so long ago that He would send.  At least, that's what the message had stated.  I left the shadows and walked toward the cave.  Immediately, the guard saw me.  He chuckled as he said, "I was wondering if you would show up.  Go on in."

This had to be a joke.  The One that I had been warned about for millennia was in this cave and now I was being invited in to see him, as if I was there to enjoy a cup of coffee with my neighbor.  I must have had an incredulous look on my face, because the guard laughed.

"We have no worries about you any more.  You have no power here.  There's nothing you can do."

We'll see about that.  I knew I still had my power.  I've had it since the beginning of time.  I will always have it.

I walked into the cave and the stench of animal dung hit me in the face like a brick wall.  Again, I thought this had to be a joke.  Why would the Enemy send His warrior here?  A smelly, dirty animal pen.  And send him as a human baby?  Ridiculous!  I'd kill him before he could take his first step.  I'd kill him tonight.  They never should have allowed me to find out where he was.  Making that announcement in public was a big mistake.

My eyes adjusted to the dark and I looked around.  I saw them at the back of the cave.  There were two more guards, unseen by the others, standing next to the trough where the animals would feed.  In front of them knelt a number of people, the shepherds that had been in the field I had just left.  Also, there was a man and a woman, obviously the brat's parents.

I entered, unseen by the humans, but noticed by the guards.  They looked at each other, grinned as if enjoying a joke, and looked back to me.  One nodded, acknowledging my presence, and invited me closer.

I approached and saw the baby.  He was asleep.  He looked just like any other child of a human.  Nothing spectacular.  Extremely fragile.  This was going to be easy.  None of the guards had any weapons that could harm me.  I knew this as fact.  I was once one of them, the greatest of their number.  Only the Enemy alone could defeat me.  He couldn't stand the fact that I wanted and deserved to have a share of the glory and power.  So I was banished, myself and my followers, a third of His army.

"We were told you might show up.", said one of the guards.  "Come and see.  You'll be surprised."

"I am surprised.", I said.  "I'm surprised that He's done this.  I thought He didn't make mistakes.  No human can beat me.  Not even Michael, the greatest of your warriors could.  If I wanted to destroy that baby, there's nothing either of you could do to stop me.  That's why I'm here.  Stand back."

I reached down into the feeding trough to grab the child when he awoke.  Good.  I wanted to hear his cries when I allowed him to see me.  But he didn't cry.  The child actually laughed when he saw me.  It was then that I looked into his eyes and saw my doom.  I looked and saw the eyes of the One who had banished me, the eyes of the only One who could defeat me.  I knew then what my Enemy's plan was.  I had no way of stopping Him.

My scream could be heard from my realm all the way to the Enemy's throne.

*****

Merry Christmas

1984

Recently, I was rereading George Orwell's classic 1984. I say rereading because it's not the first time I've read it. I don't remember how many times I've read it, but I do remember not reading it in school, when I was supposed to read it. Yep. I'm a scholar and a rebel.

Even if you've never read 1984, I'm sure you have heard something about it. Even if you only have heard the phrase "Big Brother is watching you". Basically, it's the story of one Winston Smith, a member of the Party living in London, Oceania. (Oceania consists of North and South America, England, Australia and part of Africa.). The Party (the government or Big Brother) controls every aspect of life. Citizens are continually watched. Even their very thoughts are monitored. Winston meets up with Julia, a girl in the Anti-Sex League and they both decide to join a movement against Big Brother. Antics ensue (and not funny antics).

This time while reading, I paid more attention to the technology behind the world Winston inhabits. I wondered how easy it would be (now 30 years after the books setting and 66 years after it was written) for the government to do the things mentioned in the book. 

Now, before I go on, I want it made known that I don't believe in conspiracy theories that the government is doing all these things. Anyway, this article isn't about whether or not it's truly doing these things, only if these things are possible. No conspiracies, only possibilities. 

Winston works in the Ministry of Truth, which is what could be called the media of Oceania. His job is to rewrite news articles which are found to be in error by the government. For example, at the beginning of the book, Oceania is at war with Eurasia and allied with Eastasia. During the story, the alliances change and Oceania is at war with Eastasia and allied with Eurasia. Winston's job is to rewrite every article and book written since the war began, changing "Eurasia" to "Eastasia" and vice versa. Then all "incorrect" copies of the books and newspapers are destroyed and reprinted with the "corrected" information. 

Would this be possible today?  The answer is turning more and more closer to yes every day. 

At one time, even during the writing of 1984, this would have been near impossible. It would have meant collecting and destroying every copy of every book ever printed, millions of books per year. However, with the invention of the e-book, it becomes much easier. Your average person does not have a physical copy of the book, just downloads the information, which is stored in a single computer server. That info can be easily edited, so that those who read it will download the updated, "correct" version. 

Another item I noticed was that citizens in Winston's world were under constant surveillance. There are cameras everywhere in his world. How about ours?  

It depends on where exactly you live.  In larger cities you're on camera quite often  I've recently read an article that states we are seen on camera more than 75 times per day.  And that was written 7 years ago.  I'm sure the number has risen since then.  There are cameras at street lights, on buildings, at ATM's, on buses, in taxis. Everywhere.

And those of us who live in smaller towns aren't safe from scrutiny either. The next time you're at the grocery store, look around at how many security cameras are attached to the ceiling. You may be surprised. 

Continuing with that idea, in Winston's apartment, he has what's called a telescreen. It's like a television, except it broadcasts, as well as receives signals. During morning exercises, Winston is yelled at by the instructor on screen because he isn't touching his toes. She sees him as well as he sees her. Do we have this?

Yes. We do. 

Sitting on top of my computer monitor, there is a camera, no larger than a postage stamp. While I have control of when that camera turns on, all one would have to do to control it would be to bypass my system firewall (which really isn't a difficult task).  Even my phone has a camera.  Two cameras, if you want to be specific: one in front and one in back.  If a government were to mandate that I give it control of my computer or my phone, they could very easily turn my webcam on and find out what I'm doing. (No one really wants to know that.)

I mean it.  You really don't.

I have one more item to mention.  However, it's not mentioned in the book, but I thought about this and I think it's worth mentioning here.  In the book, Winston and Julia leave the city and go out into the country in order to be able to get away from the all-seeing cameras and from having their every movement scrutinized.  Today, it's getting harder and harder to do that.

On my phone, I have an app I use when I run.  It tracks my movements and tells me, down to the closest meter (or yard for you American readers), where exactly on the planet I am.  If I can use this to find out where I am, I'm sure Winston's Big Brother would use this technology to track its Party members movements.

My latest run.

Again, I'm not writing all this in order to say "The Government's watching us!  We're living in the world of 1984!"  I'm just writing this as a thought exercise.  Could the world of 1984 be possible?  I think that's a strong YES.  We need not be worried about it, though.  Alert, but not worried.

Just Keep Moving

This past weekend, I ran in the Grand Rapids Foster Swift Half Marathon.  For those of you who may not know, a half marathon is 13.1 miles or 21.1 kilometers.

The reason I was running was that I needed confidence about my speed.  In January, I'll be running in a half marathon in Disney World.  For that race, I have to stay at a speed of 16 minutes per mile.  If I can't keep that speed, I'll be pulled off the course and driven to the finish line (and I won't get my medal).  So, by running in Grand Rapids, which has no time limit, I'm able to get a good view of my speed.  As long as I can run it in under 3 1/2 hours, I'm good.

A Little History

It was a cool October Saturday morning in 2013.  I was awake and sitting in front of my computer, probably on Reddit or playing a game.  My wife came into the room and asked a question.  "How long is a half marathon?"

My brain works like this: question in, answer out.  No thought behind it.  So I say, "13.1 miles."

"Thanks" and she goes back into the living room.  It was a couple of minutes before the meaning of that exchange clicked.  I ran into the other room.

"What are you doing?"  I know my wife much too well.

"There's a half marathon tomorrow and I'm thinking of running it.  My friends think I'm crazy because they've been training for 6 months for it and I'm just now thinking of doing it."

Her friends are right.  But when she gets it in her mind to do something, it's near impossible to talk her out of it.  So the next morning, I found myself in a crowd of people, waiting for my wife to finish running.  Her goal was to finish in under 3 hours.  She did it in 2 hours 53 minutes.

Back To The Present

So this year, It's me who is running and she's on the sidelines, cheering me on.

The sun hasn't risen when we get to the YMCA, where the race begins (and will end).  I haven't been feeling good for the past week.  I'm coming down with the flu.  Great.  The most difficult race in my life and I'm sick.  If I was well, I'd really push myself and try to beat my wife's time.  But since I'm not, I'm just going to try to beat the 16 minute per mile mark.  I hope.

Yes, I was thinking "What am I doing here?"

The race began and over 4000 of us idiots are running.  It's chilly, so I have on a long sleeve shirt, a jacket and gloves.  I'll be glad for those gloves later.

 I had set up my phone to play music while I was running, along with my voice every couple of minutes, telling me to run or walk.  Pacing myself.  That went out the window.  I tried running when it said to run, but I skipped quite a bit and extended my walks quite a bit.  Eventually, I just ended up ignoring it completely and ran when I felt like it.

About 4 miles in, I started getting warm.  The sun was now up and it was going to be a bright, shiny day.  I pulled off my jacket and tied it around my waist.  I took off my gloves, so I could repin my number onto my shirt, since it was first on my jacket.  I stuck the gloves in my pocket.  I guess one fell out, because about a mile later, a guy came up to me and said I'd dropped it.  I wasn't about to go back to get it now.  Just keep one glove and keep moving.

That became my mantra throughout the race:  Just Keep Moving.  When I crossed the 7 mile check point, I was at 1 hour 40 minutes.  At that pace, I'd finish in 3 hour 10 minutes.  Mentally, I wanted to push and go faster, but physically?  Nope.

The first 7 miles are in town.  From mile 7 to about 11, it's out in the middle of nowhere.  Nothing to see, except corn fields, and trees.  Oh, there's the water treatment plant.  Don't step on that dead skunk.  Grab a water and Gatorade at each aid station.  Ooh, this aid station also has gummy bears!  Get some of those, too.

At about mile 9, my body decided it was done.  I went to begin running, and almost ended up on the ground.  So I kept walking.  While I was tripping, I'd hurt my leg.  I had pain in my left leg from my hip to my ankle.  It was only through strength of mind that I stayed up.  (Strength of mind?  I have a mind?)  Just Keep Moving.  Just Keep Moving.

I don't remember passing the signs for miles 10 and 11.  I kept my eyes on the ground ahead of me and kept moving.  As I went, there were more and more people on the side of the road, cheering us runners on.

Finally, I turned a corner and there it was in the distance: the finish line.  I had to cross that line, no matter what.  After I crossed, I could collapse and it would all be over, but first I had to cross that line.  Just Keep Moving.

My mind was so focused on the finish line, that I went into tunnel vision.  I really couldn't see anyone on the side of the road, even my mother or my wife.  (That's fine:  my mother didn't see me run by either.  Don't worry about it, mom.)  I found the strength to run those few hundred feet or so.

After I crossed the line, I got my medal, got a foil blanket to get warm and went through the line to pick up some after race snacks: banana, orange, yogurt.  I didn't realize just how cold I'd gotten during the race, until I noticed I was shaking.  Not just shivering, but a full out shake.  And I still had to find my family and get back to the car.

I pulled out my phone and texted my wife, telling her where I was.  (Not an easy feat, considering how much food I was holding.)  She came and got me and we walked (very slowly) back to the car.

In the end, my official time was 3 hours, 13 minutes, 22 seconds.  Slower than I'd wanted, but faster than my goal for Disney.  And any way you slice it, I'd finished.

Disney World, here I come.

Machete Order

SPOILER ALERT:  This is where I'd normally say there are spoilers of a movie or TV show, but the newest of these films I'll be discussing is almost a decade old and the oldest is almost as old as I am.  I'm saying this stuff anyway.  You got a problem with that?  Tough!

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I'm watching the Star Wars movies (again) and have come to a problem: what order to watch them. Should I watch them in episode order or chronological order?

Episode order is starting with Episode 1 and following with 2, 3, 4, 5, and (wait for it) 6. The problem with this order is that it removes the suspense of the biggest cliffhanger (and also the most misquoted line) in movie history: "No, I am your father."

Chronological order is the order in which they were released: 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, and 3.  The issue with this order is there is no tension in the newer trilogy.  We already know how the story ends.

Now, before I go further, it should be noted that I am a fan of the original trilogy, but not so much of the newer.  Too much CGI, too much love story, too much Hayden Christensen.  Yet, the new trilogy is a part of George Lucas' vision for the story, so as a true Star Wars fan, I put up with it.  But back to my original question:  viewing order.

I've recently found online an order which disposes with the problems stated above, and highlights a few items that are not apparent with the other viewing orders.  It's called "Machete Order".  The reason for the name will become apparent in a moment.

Machete Order is this: Episode 4, 5, 2, 3, and 6.  No, I haven't missed anything.  Read that order again.  I repeat, I haven't missed anything.  Episode 1 is not there.  It's been cut out (like with a machete... get it?)  Why?

Episode I: The Phantom Menace tells of Jedi knight Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kinobi discovering a young Anakin Skywalker.  They also meet up with Padme Amidala, queen of Naboo.  They also find out along the way that the Sith (the ancient bad guys who practice the dark side of the Force) have returned.  So how can I just get rid of this film?

None of the plot points in Phantom Menace are necessary to the overall plot of the series.  Anything that is important is introduced again (sometimes even better) in the other films.  We don't need to know that Qui-Gon Jinn was Obi-Wan's master.  We don't need a love story between a 14 year old and a 9 year old.  We don't need to have a half hour of pod racing.  We don't need Jake Lloyd.  (Don't know who that is?  Google is your friend.)  We don't need Jar Jar Binks.

George's biggest mistake.

Now, you can watch Phantom Menace after you've watched the others.  See it as bonus material: cool, but not necessary to the story.

So, now that we've cut out over 2 hours of movie to watch, that leaves us with the order of the others.  George had it right when he filmed Episode 4: A New Hope first.  It's has the strongest story that is able to introduce the characters.  In my opinion, Episode 5: Empire Strikes Back is stronger, but would be a difficult place to start.  So, you watch them back-to-back, which then ends with the infamous cliffhanger.  Where to go from here?

To a flashback, of course.  To Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.  It introduces us to Anakin as a cocky, whiny teenager (much like Luke in Episode 4).  Also, we see Padme as an old friend of Anakin's.  Their age difference isn't as shocking here as it was in Episode 1, so the thought of them being an item isn't creepy.

This leads directly to Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith.  We see Anakin fall to the dark side.  Luke and Leia are born, which is a big reveal in itself.  Padme dies.  Yoda fails to defeat Emperor Palpatine.  Obi-Wan goes into exile in order to protect the children of Anakin.

So, now we finish to story with the film that ties everything together: Episode 6: The Return of the Jedi.  We see Luke as a fully-trained Jedi, dressed in black, just as his father had.  In his dealings with Jabba the Hutt, Luke seems a bit ruthless, as if he is using the dark side of the Force.  In fact, that possibility is made stronger now when the Emperor urges Luke to use his anger to kill.  Yoda also tells Luke "do not underestimate the Emperor."  Now that we've seen Yoda fail in his fight with Palpatine, this statement has more meaning.

I could get deeper into this topic and go longer (a lot longer), but I'll just stop here.  Are there problems with this order?  Sure.  But there are more positives here than negatives, which can be passed by with little effect on the story.  Let's just say that this seems like a much better order for the story than either chronological or episodal.

Now, where do I fit my copy of the Holiday Special?

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It's that time of year again. No, not Christmas. Time to buy cereal. A certain special cereal.

Yeah, Count Chocula's open.  I couldn't help myself.

It's become a tradition around my home to buy a box of each of the Monster cereals each year.  When my daughter went off to college, we bought her a box of each and shipped them off to her dorm.  She later told me she used a measuring cup to ration out servings to each of her friends.

That was also the year the decided to rerelease two other Monster cereals: Yummy Mummy and Frute Brute.

I hadn't heard of them before, either.

Halloween is my favorite holiday.  You get to dress up as something completely different, eat candy until you barf and then, for food that's good for you (relatively), you have the Monster cereals.

I've already sent three boxes to my son, who is now in college himself.

Now, my daughter tells me she mixes all three flavors together and eats them all at once.  I think I hear my cereal bowl calling me...