Looking Back: 2014

It's the end of 2014.  It's that time of year when we look back at the past 365 days and remember the good and the bad things that happened.

This year has been a doozy.  We've had missing airplanes and Nigerian girls. Shootings and riots. Ebola scares and elections. Abuse by NFL players and NBA owners. ISIS. Ukraine. Re establishing relations with Cuba. North Korea and The Interview. 

We've had quite a few deaths this year. Actors Robin Williams, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Richard Kiel and Richard Attenborough. Actresses Joan Rivers and Lauren Bacall. Musicians Joe Cocker and Tommy Ramone. Comedienne Jan Hooks. Artist H. R. Giger. Wrestler the Ultimate Warrior. 

Personally, it's been a rough year. I've lost a job, gained one and lost it again.  I've helped one kid move into her own apartment and another move to college.  I've stretched out the distances of my running. At the beginning of the year, the farthest I'd run was a 5k (3.1 miles). In May, I ran a 10k (6.2 miles) and in October a half marathon (13.1 miles/21.1 km). I've been planning a trip for Disney World to run another half marathon. (That trip is next week.)  I've reconnected with old friend, moved on from others and have made new friends around the world.

It's at times like this that I look back over my life and try to think of what I'd do differently.  Would I make those same decisions if I had them to do again?

I've had a few regrets in my life.  I should have stayed in college when I was younger.  I went for two years and then dropped out, because I wanted to be with some girl.  (OK, I married her and we're still together, but I should have stayed in college, and not spend my tuition money on an engagement ring.)

I should have waited to get married and have children.  (Not that I regret having my wife and kids.  I love them more than they'll ever know.  I just think I should have waited until I was more mature.  However, now that they're moving out and I'm still fairly young, I can enjoy them as adults and friends.)

I should have done whatever it took in order to keep my job.  (Not that I liked that job.  I hated it.  It actually caused a lot of depression issues.  I was nearly unbearable to live with because of those issues.)

Maybe what I'm saying is that we need to live without regrets.  Even those things that I regret having done (or not done) have become positives in my life.  I didn't finish college, but I married the love of my life.  I married early, but have a longer lifetime to spend with her, my children and possibly grandkids.  I lost a job, but I was miserable there and now have an opportunity to grow and be happier.

When I'm gone, what will my family remember of me?  Will they remember that I didn't have a degree?  Will they remember that I was unemployed for most of a year?  Will they recall that I was only 20 years old when I got married and my wife was only 17?

Or will they remember me as a loving husband?  A caring father?  A loyal friend?  Someone they could depend on when they needed me?

Try to think on how you want to be remembered and once you've found that out, do your best to live it.

I might not be world famous and be mourned by millions, but it's more important to me that those whom I love remember me well.

Happy New Year to you all.  Live to make 2015 a year to remember.

The Eyes of the Enemy

The disgustingly holy light had finally faded.  Unblessed darkness returned and shadows fell across the field.  The pitiful ones to whom the message had been given had all gone.  Only I had remained.  I had stayed in the corner of the field, hidden in those shadows.  I had to think this out.

I thought I knew how my Enemy worked.  This war had gone on long enough and the plans were always the same.  But this message was something different.  Uncertain, I began to walk toward the place, the little town referred to in the message.  It wasn't far.

How was this time going to be different?  What was His plan this time?

Up ahead, I saw the place.  It was just a cave, used to keep the animals out of the weather.  A dirty, wet cave.  Could I have heard the message wrong?  No, I could see the guard standing next to the cave's mouth.  This was definitely the place.  Inside that cave was the One the Enemy had promised so long ago that He would send.  At least, that's what the message had stated.  I left the shadows and walked toward the cave.  Immediately, the guard saw me.  He chuckled as he said, "I was wondering if you would show up.  Go on in."

This had to be a joke.  The One that I had been warned about for millennia was in this cave and now I was being invited in to see him, as if I was there to enjoy a cup of coffee with my neighbor.  I must have had an incredulous look on my face, because the guard laughed.

"We have no worries about you any more.  You have no power here.  There's nothing you can do."

We'll see about that.  I knew I still had my power.  I've had it since the beginning of time.  I will always have it.

I walked into the cave and the stench of animal dung hit me in the face like a brick wall.  Again, I thought this had to be a joke.  Why would the Enemy send His warrior here?  A smelly, dirty animal pen.  And send him as a human baby?  Ridiculous!  I'd kill him before he could take his first step.  I'd kill him tonight.  They never should have allowed me to find out where he was.  Making that announcement in public was a big mistake.

My eyes adjusted to the dark and I looked around.  I saw them at the back of the cave.  There were two more guards, unseen by the others, standing next to the trough where the animals would feed.  In front of them knelt a number of people, the shepherds that had been in the field I had just left.  Also, there was a man and a woman, obviously the brat's parents.

I entered, unseen by the humans, but noticed by the guards.  They looked at each other, grinned as if enjoying a joke, and looked back to me.  One nodded, acknowledging my presence, and invited me closer.

I approached and saw the baby.  He was asleep.  He looked just like any other child of a human.  Nothing spectacular.  Extremely fragile.  This was going to be easy.  None of the guards had any weapons that could harm me.  I knew this as fact.  I was once one of them, the greatest of their number.  Only the Enemy alone could defeat me.  He couldn't stand the fact that I wanted and deserved to have a share of the glory and power.  So I was banished, myself and my followers, a third of His army.

"We were told you might show up.", said one of the guards.  "Come and see.  You'll be surprised."

"I am surprised.", I said.  "I'm surprised that He's done this.  I thought He didn't make mistakes.  No human can beat me.  Not even Michael, the greatest of your warriors could.  If I wanted to destroy that baby, there's nothing either of you could do to stop me.  That's why I'm here.  Stand back."

I reached down into the feeding trough to grab the child when he awoke.  Good.  I wanted to hear his cries when I allowed him to see me.  But he didn't cry.  The child actually laughed when he saw me.  It was then that I looked into his eyes and saw my doom.  I looked and saw the eyes of the One who had banished me, the eyes of the only One who could defeat me.  I knew then what my Enemy's plan was.  I had no way of stopping Him.

My scream could be heard from my realm all the way to the Enemy's throne.

*****

Merry Christmas