Just Keep Moving

This past weekend, I ran in the Grand Rapids Foster Swift Half Marathon.  For those of you who may not know, a half marathon is 13.1 miles or 21.1 kilometers.

The reason I was running was that I needed confidence about my speed.  In January, I'll be running in a half marathon in Disney World.  For that race, I have to stay at a speed of 16 minutes per mile.  If I can't keep that speed, I'll be pulled off the course and driven to the finish line (and I won't get my medal).  So, by running in Grand Rapids, which has no time limit, I'm able to get a good view of my speed.  As long as I can run it in under 3 1/2 hours, I'm good.

A Little History

It was a cool October Saturday morning in 2013.  I was awake and sitting in front of my computer, probably on Reddit or playing a game.  My wife came into the room and asked a question.  "How long is a half marathon?"

My brain works like this: question in, answer out.  No thought behind it.  So I say, "13.1 miles."

"Thanks" and she goes back into the living room.  It was a couple of minutes before the meaning of that exchange clicked.  I ran into the other room.

"What are you doing?"  I know my wife much too well.

"There's a half marathon tomorrow and I'm thinking of running it.  My friends think I'm crazy because they've been training for 6 months for it and I'm just now thinking of doing it."

Her friends are right.  But when she gets it in her mind to do something, it's near impossible to talk her out of it.  So the next morning, I found myself in a crowd of people, waiting for my wife to finish running.  Her goal was to finish in under 3 hours.  She did it in 2 hours 53 minutes.

Back To The Present

So this year, It's me who is running and she's on the sidelines, cheering me on.

The sun hasn't risen when we get to the YMCA, where the race begins (and will end).  I haven't been feeling good for the past week.  I'm coming down with the flu.  Great.  The most difficult race in my life and I'm sick.  If I was well, I'd really push myself and try to beat my wife's time.  But since I'm not, I'm just going to try to beat the 16 minute per mile mark.  I hope.

Yes, I was thinking "What am I doing here?"

The race began and over 4000 of us idiots are running.  It's chilly, so I have on a long sleeve shirt, a jacket and gloves.  I'll be glad for those gloves later.

 I had set up my phone to play music while I was running, along with my voice every couple of minutes, telling me to run or walk.  Pacing myself.  That went out the window.  I tried running when it said to run, but I skipped quite a bit and extended my walks quite a bit.  Eventually, I just ended up ignoring it completely and ran when I felt like it.

About 4 miles in, I started getting warm.  The sun was now up and it was going to be a bright, shiny day.  I pulled off my jacket and tied it around my waist.  I took off my gloves, so I could repin my number onto my shirt, since it was first on my jacket.  I stuck the gloves in my pocket.  I guess one fell out, because about a mile later, a guy came up to me and said I'd dropped it.  I wasn't about to go back to get it now.  Just keep one glove and keep moving.

That became my mantra throughout the race:  Just Keep Moving.  When I crossed the 7 mile check point, I was at 1 hour 40 minutes.  At that pace, I'd finish in 3 hour 10 minutes.  Mentally, I wanted to push and go faster, but physically?  Nope.

The first 7 miles are in town.  From mile 7 to about 11, it's out in the middle of nowhere.  Nothing to see, except corn fields, and trees.  Oh, there's the water treatment plant.  Don't step on that dead skunk.  Grab a water and Gatorade at each aid station.  Ooh, this aid station also has gummy bears!  Get some of those, too.

At about mile 9, my body decided it was done.  I went to begin running, and almost ended up on the ground.  So I kept walking.  While I was tripping, I'd hurt my leg.  I had pain in my left leg from my hip to my ankle.  It was only through strength of mind that I stayed up.  (Strength of mind?  I have a mind?)  Just Keep Moving.  Just Keep Moving.

I don't remember passing the signs for miles 10 and 11.  I kept my eyes on the ground ahead of me and kept moving.  As I went, there were more and more people on the side of the road, cheering us runners on.

Finally, I turned a corner and there it was in the distance: the finish line.  I had to cross that line, no matter what.  After I crossed, I could collapse and it would all be over, but first I had to cross that line.  Just Keep Moving.

My mind was so focused on the finish line, that I went into tunnel vision.  I really couldn't see anyone on the side of the road, even my mother or my wife.  (That's fine:  my mother didn't see me run by either.  Don't worry about it, mom.)  I found the strength to run those few hundred feet or so.

After I crossed the line, I got my medal, got a foil blanket to get warm and went through the line to pick up some after race snacks: banana, orange, yogurt.  I didn't realize just how cold I'd gotten during the race, until I noticed I was shaking.  Not just shivering, but a full out shake.  And I still had to find my family and get back to the car.

I pulled out my phone and texted my wife, telling her where I was.  (Not an easy feat, considering how much food I was holding.)  She came and got me and we walked (very slowly) back to the car.

In the end, my official time was 3 hours, 13 minutes, 22 seconds.  Slower than I'd wanted, but faster than my goal for Disney.  And any way you slice it, I'd finished.

Disney World, here I come.

Machete Order

SPOILER ALERT:  This is where I'd normally say there are spoilers of a movie or TV show, but the newest of these films I'll be discussing is almost a decade old and the oldest is almost as old as I am.  I'm saying this stuff anyway.  You got a problem with that?  Tough!

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I'm watching the Star Wars movies (again) and have come to a problem: what order to watch them. Should I watch them in episode order or chronological order?

Episode order is starting with Episode 1 and following with 2, 3, 4, 5, and (wait for it) 6. The problem with this order is that it removes the suspense of the biggest cliffhanger (and also the most misquoted line) in movie history: "No, I am your father."

Chronological order is the order in which they were released: 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, and 3.  The issue with this order is there is no tension in the newer trilogy.  We already know how the story ends.

Now, before I go further, it should be noted that I am a fan of the original trilogy, but not so much of the newer.  Too much CGI, too much love story, too much Hayden Christensen.  Yet, the new trilogy is a part of George Lucas' vision for the story, so as a true Star Wars fan, I put up with it.  But back to my original question:  viewing order.

I've recently found online an order which disposes with the problems stated above, and highlights a few items that are not apparent with the other viewing orders.  It's called "Machete Order".  The reason for the name will become apparent in a moment.

Machete Order is this: Episode 4, 5, 2, 3, and 6.  No, I haven't missed anything.  Read that order again.  I repeat, I haven't missed anything.  Episode 1 is not there.  It's been cut out (like with a machete... get it?)  Why?

Episode I: The Phantom Menace tells of Jedi knight Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kinobi discovering a young Anakin Skywalker.  They also meet up with Padme Amidala, queen of Naboo.  They also find out along the way that the Sith (the ancient bad guys who practice the dark side of the Force) have returned.  So how can I just get rid of this film?

None of the plot points in Phantom Menace are necessary to the overall plot of the series.  Anything that is important is introduced again (sometimes even better) in the other films.  We don't need to know that Qui-Gon Jinn was Obi-Wan's master.  We don't need a love story between a 14 year old and a 9 year old.  We don't need to have a half hour of pod racing.  We don't need Jake Lloyd.  (Don't know who that is?  Google is your friend.)  We don't need Jar Jar Binks.

George's biggest mistake.

Now, you can watch Phantom Menace after you've watched the others.  See it as bonus material: cool, but not necessary to the story.

So, now that we've cut out over 2 hours of movie to watch, that leaves us with the order of the others.  George had it right when he filmed Episode 4: A New Hope first.  It's has the strongest story that is able to introduce the characters.  In my opinion, Episode 5: Empire Strikes Back is stronger, but would be a difficult place to start.  So, you watch them back-to-back, which then ends with the infamous cliffhanger.  Where to go from here?

To a flashback, of course.  To Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.  It introduces us to Anakin as a cocky, whiny teenager (much like Luke in Episode 4).  Also, we see Padme as an old friend of Anakin's.  Their age difference isn't as shocking here as it was in Episode 1, so the thought of them being an item isn't creepy.

This leads directly to Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith.  We see Anakin fall to the dark side.  Luke and Leia are born, which is a big reveal in itself.  Padme dies.  Yoda fails to defeat Emperor Palpatine.  Obi-Wan goes into exile in order to protect the children of Anakin.

So, now we finish to story with the film that ties everything together: Episode 6: The Return of the Jedi.  We see Luke as a fully-trained Jedi, dressed in black, just as his father had.  In his dealings with Jabba the Hutt, Luke seems a bit ruthless, as if he is using the dark side of the Force.  In fact, that possibility is made stronger now when the Emperor urges Luke to use his anger to kill.  Yoda also tells Luke "do not underestimate the Emperor."  Now that we've seen Yoda fail in his fight with Palpatine, this statement has more meaning.

I could get deeper into this topic and go longer (a lot longer), but I'll just stop here.  Are there problems with this order?  Sure.  But there are more positives here than negatives, which can be passed by with little effect on the story.  Let's just say that this seems like a much better order for the story than either chronological or episodal.

Now, where do I fit my copy of the Holiday Special?